{written and misplaced 30May2021} - i'll stream on YouTube, and it'll take another year to prepare for it.

a pair of things [so, two things, one whole event] happened, today, and i am debating if i should go ahead and stream on Twitch or not.

there are streamers and moderators who think they can get away with treating people like crap, and they can because ... well, strength in numbers and Twitch is more inclined to take the word of the numbers over the word of the one.

yes, i keep a running tally of the channels that i'm banned from, on my Twitch About tab, and a lot of those bans are only because i keep that list.

today, i got unbanned and rebanned in the span if a breath, and Twitch isn't going to do anything to that streamer for being toxic, so that entire list gets to sit there and laugh at me, treat people like crap, because they're protected by a crowd of other toxic people, who all tell the same story.

if i was the toxic streamer, Twitch should and would penalize me; they won't touch that list, and i feel like i want to not stream on a platform who's toxic by proxy. :/

you guys might check 'em out and decide that there's nothing wrong with those streamers--nothing wrong with their mods, even--and tell me that my ptsd is just making me fantasize mistreatment.

well, so be it, ya' know?  i don't mind being alone.

i won't be tuning into any streams over the weekend; i'm feeling pretty angry.